Trans Superpowers

September 25, 2009

It’s time to admit it: We have superpowers.

You heard me right. Trans people, simply by virtue of being trans, have superpowers. After all, there’s only one of us to every 200-500 cis people—or, according to the “official” statistics, every 20,000—yet we are solely responsible for upholding or destabilizing the gender binary. You realize that means each of us has the political strength of over 1000 cis people–maybe more like 40,000? Talk about superpowers! We can even turn an obscure three letter word into a weapon!

For another example, in women only space, trans women aren’t allowed in because our penises might make the space unsafe, might trigger people. Just our theoretical penises mind you—we don’t have to take our clothes off or even actually have penises, just lurking threat of our bodies makes the space totally triggering and unsafe. Think about it–a half a percentage of us, but we can make a space more triggering than 49% of cis men can! The power! At the same time, we’d dominate all the conversations, even the one’s we’re not in, but especially the ones where we’re outnumbered fifty to one! We are truly Amazons; forget about Spike or Buffy or Edward Cullen or the Centurions, even the mighty Glorificus would be quaking in her heels. Teetering, even.

Don’t forget, while we’re at it, we’re creating an empire and making cis women obsolete—in our spare time, since we spend most of it pursuing bizarre sex fantasies, or relentlessly pawing at straight men!

Think what we could accomplish, if we just went public and admitted it! Stop hiding our strength, stop pretending to be normal, stop disavowing what we we *all* have–men, women, and genderqueers–male privilege in its purest, most concentrated form, far more potent than cis men’s–and that’s just one of our powers. Why, if we just really put our heads together, we could pass ENDA in fifteen minutes and finish off universal health care in the rest of the hour, without even breaking a sweat! We really need to aim for the sky, like eradicating poverty and bringing about world peace!

Only you can stop forest fires, so save the whales.

6 Responses to “Trans Superpowers”

  1. Nicole said

    I am totally going to become a supervillain named The Traninator. My first nefarious plan is to make all of the childrens of the world confused about their gender and sexuality and think they need to have sex changes at the age of 5!

  2. Olga said

    ❤ I love this post!

    Quake, Glorificus, quake!

  3. *snerk*

    This was a brill post. I’m gonna go use my superpowers to conquer China, brb. XD

  4. We fuel our powers buy draining the “Female Energy” of those who dare oppose is.

    Awesome stuff Cedar!!

  5. sophi said

    every time i stumble accross this post it puts a big smile on my face. i’m with, Nicole, trans supervillains!

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